The Los Angeles Chargers need to count their blessings. Yes, they looked abysmal once again, scraping by the New England Patriots 6-0 in a slopfest that could only barely be described as “football,” but they do have a saving grace in this game.
They can look across the field at their opposition with a sigh of relief and say, "Hey, at least we're not those guys."
Those guys in New England are putting together a product that's truly pitiful. Unwatchable on an apocalyptic scale. If there was a lesson to learn from watching the Patriots play with the same urgency as a hibernating bear, it's that it can just about always get worse. The Chargers might be bad, but New England has entered into a whole new plane of incompetency.
The Patriots are 2-10 and find themselves in a situation where they probably need to just keep losing games so they have the assets needed to give this organization a major facelift this offseason. Chargers head coach Brandon Staley is firmly on the hot seat in Los Angeles, which should have given the Patriots a nice opportunity to look like a professional offense for the first time in a long time. Instead, they managed a whopping zero points in four quarters, as well as 4.1 yards per play, 28.6% on third down, and 3.6 yards per passing attempt — again, against one of the least effective defenses in football. This doesn't really seem possible in 2023, but the Patriots have maximized the feeling of a JV football team.
On Sunday, the Patriots became the first team to lose three straight games in which the opposing team was held to 10 or fewer points for the first time since 1938. That record was previously held by the Chicago Cardinals, which haven't existed since 1959. The Patriots are playing a style of football so bad that it hasn't even been seen in this league in almost 100 years. Maybe the Patriots should try giving Jim Thorpe a call to see if he has any tips on getting them over this current hump.
Bill Belichick has decided he currently has enough datapoints on Mac Jones to know he can't play for the Patriot right now. Fair enough. It's probably fair to argue that the Patriots have enough information on Bailey Zappe to know that he's not even a strong backup candidate moving forward. Zappe managed just 109 net passing yards, which wasn't entirely his fault with the Patriots' offensive line getting smoked in pass pro, but he doesn't do enough to make life easier for the already beleaguered unit.
"It starts with me," Zappe said afterward. "I gotta do better."
At this point, the Patriots should just go ahead and start rookie quarterback Malik Cunningham the rest of the way. He’s probably not the quarterback of the future either for the Patriots, but at least they could run a different style of offense for the final few weeks. Cunningham was elevated from the practice squad for the Chargers game but never saw the field.
"We did what we thought was best," Belichick said. "... We had times where we got things going. We wanted to try to stay with what we were doing."
The dropback passing game with Jones and Zappe has produced essentially (and sometimes literally) nothing. A little option football with Cunningham under center to close out the season might be the medicine they need to make their offense watchable. The Patriots defense has allowed 26 points combined over the past three games. That’s an extremely low bar to clear to win a game.
They probably shouldn’t win a game in order to stay on track for Caleb Williams or Drake Maye, but why not add a little razzle dazzle to a season that has become increasingly lifeless? They’re 2-10 with a decreasing belief each week that they can manage a win before the season. Try something different for the hell of it, why not. A loss is incoming either way, at least try to make life a little more difficult for the other team. Bill Belichick can’t go out this sad, even if that’s the direction that the Patriots appear to be heading.
The defense has held up their end of their bargain recently. The offense has done anything but that. Congratulations to the Patriots for a top three pick in the 2024 NFL Draft.
