The other day I sneezed so loud it scared the goldfish. I waited. And waited. Nothing. Not even a pity “bless you?!” That’s when I realized… my family has completely abandoned this tradition.

I snapped. “Hellllooooo? Would it kill you people to wish me well??” I do acknowledge that there is nothing more pathetic than begging your own family for attention.

My son shrugged and said he thought it was a cough (typical). My wife reminded me she had sneezed earlier and didn’t complain. “What do you want, a trophy?” It was a whole thing.

So, I made it my mission: no sneeze left behind. I was on 24/7 sneeze patrol. If pollen was flying, I was ready. I even blessed the dog! I wasn’t sure if it was a sneeze or a burp, but hey, I wasn’t taking any chances.

Then came my big moment. On our walk home from the store, a woman at a café let out a monster sneeze. Jackpot! I turned to my kids: “Watch and learn.” I delivered the perfect “Bless you!” across the sidewalk.

She didn’t even look up. Not a nod, not a smile. Nothing.

So now I’m left wondering: am I the only one still keeping this tradition alive? Or do we just let people sneeze into the void now?